Why Your Beard Looks Like Pubes

Many men struggle to grow out their beards for several reasons.

Some don’t like growing their beard past a stubble since it quickly becomes too itchy.

Others stop growing their beard altogether because it gets a bit too patchy.

However, there are another set of men who stop growing their beard, and that’s because it looks perhaps a little too familiar to the hair downstairs – yes, I’m talking about pubes.

Whether you joined the 21st century and do a little hedging around your junk or you go full bush, many men who grow out their beard for the first time may stop because their beard looks like pubes.

But here’s the deal:

It doesn’t have to be this way.

In today’s article, I wanted to take a moment to talk about a few things:

  1. Why your beard and pubes are more similar than you think
  2. How to make your beard not look like your pubes
  3. How to maintain a beard to never look like your pubes ever again

Along with a few other bonus tips and tricks that are guaranteed to make your beard look Instagram-worthy.

So, let’s get into the details:

Your Beard Looks Like Pubes For Two Reasons – Style & Conditioning (Or Lack Thereof)

Look:

When you cut right to it, our bodies have transformed through time to take on certain characteristics.

One of those characteristics that I want to talk about today is, of course, your beard, pubes, and the common trait they share – they are both androgenic hair – aka body hair.

Unlike the hair you may find on the top of your head (vellus hair) that is finer and lighter, androgenic hair will be much thicker and generally coarser.

The purpose of this body hair, was as an extrasensory mechanism to detect wind or vibrations coupled with adding a light coat for warmth.

However, when compared to women, men grow more androgenic hair due to increased testosterone.

But regardless of the reason why men have thicker body hair, the common trait remains, whether it’s your beard, pubes, armpit, chest, or anywhere else on your body, androgenic hair may look the same throughout.

Due to the similar appearance, men with thinner or patchy beards may shave it off entirely because it looks just a tad too much like their pubes.

Here’s the point:

While your pubes and beard may look identical, there are things you CAN do to make your beard look less…pube-like (for lack of a better term).

Most notably, to make your beard look great, you will need to both style and condition it regularly.

Let’s talk about the conditioning aspect first:

Your Beard And Pubes Probably Look The Same Because You Aren’t Doing Anything

I am going to ask you two questions, and please don’t email me the response.

First:

When was the last time you conditioned your pubes?

The chances are that after your shower this morning, you probably didn’t apply any sort of conditioning agents like a lotion or carrier oil – and that’s completely fine!

Second question:

When was the last time you conditioned your beard?

Never?

Read on, now:

As we said earlier, your pubes and beard are simply androgenic hair, and therefore carry many of the same traits of how they appear and grow.

But check this out:

As you grow a beard, you must condition it for several reasons:

As your beard gets longer, it will begin not only to look worse (akin to pubes) but will also start to feel uncomfortable as well.

Many men who grow their beards will often experience a mild form of beard itch for a couple of months.

When left untreated, a beard itch will worsen into beard flakes.

Not only is beard itch uncomfortable, but running your hands through your beard while you itch incessantly will make your beard look unkempt and very similar to your pubes.

Not good.

So, first thing’s first, order yourself a beard conditioning agent, so your beard doesn’t feel nearly as brittle or dry as your pubes.

A beard conditioner hydrates your skin, so you don’t get any beard flakes as well.

But that’s not all!

Styling Your Beard With The RIGHT Tool Will Make All The Difference

Just applying a beard conditioner like beard oil or balm won’t make a lick of difference beyond making your beard feel soft, comfortable, and smell great.

The most important aspect of making your beard look like pubes distant relative is to style correctly.

So, in any beardsman’s repertoire, you have two tools to choose from:

Beard combs and beard brushes.

Beard combs are great for styling, especially if you have a longer-looking beard (more than a couple of inches).

If this sounds like you, you will want to get a comb explicitly designed for your beard.

Beard combs are saw cut and hand polished.  This means no snags and ultimately a happier beard (and you).

Combing aside, I am willing to bet that as you sit here reading this article, you might have a beard that is only a couple of months old at best (i.e., less than several inches in length).

If this is the case, a beard brush will be your tool of choice.

Unlike a paddle brush that Mrs. might use, beard brush fibers are made from boar’s hair, a natural animal fiber.

They not only help to deliver the beard conditioner along the length of your beard but will also work to complement your beard perfectly with each stroke.

But it gets better for you men out there suffering from a pube-looking beard:

Beard brushes WILL help to get your beard growing in a uniform direction.

Yes, you read that right; when you brush your beard regularly, you can train your beard to grow in a uniform direction.

Therefore, if you have a crazy beard that reminds you of the hair downstairs, you will want to go with this tool.

With a few weeks of repeated use, you should see a beard that doesn’t have follicles that grow in a curl and will be worthy of being in an Instagram selfie (whether forced or otherwise).

Got Yourself A LONG Beard But Can’t Get It Straight?

While even the best beard brushes can work wonders to make your beard look amazing, some men like to take it to the extremes – and for those guys, they like to rely on this:

A flat-iron.

While many men only know of a flat iron from their wife or girlfriend, these are a secret weapon that many seasoned beardsmen depend upon.

They deliver great (i.e., straight) results in a short period.

If you decide to go this route, there are a couple of things you need to keep in mind:

First:

Don’t go with a traditional flat iron that your wife or girlfriend uses.  Chances are that the heat pads will be much too big, making it hard for you to get any control.

Instead, go with a travel flat iron..

The small design makes it perfect for beards.  

Secondly:

Don’t overdo it.

Flat irons are notoriously bad if used for too long.  So, when going over your beard, you don’t want to go crazy with it and burn your beard.

Doing so will make your beard look worse than it was before!

Persistent Use

Maintaining your beard every morning can be a chore for some.

Unfortunately, though, when it comes to a good-looking beard, you must keep at it.  An unkempt beard will look like a pube beard.

You must keep conditioning and brushing your beard daily. Otherwise, your hair will go back to its natural state – which isn’t the place you want to be.

Adam Williams

As the lead editor of Tools of Men, Adam loves men's grooming products. Particularly of interest is managing facial hair and perfecting the art of the modern man's skincare routine. His work has been featured or quoted in several publications, including New York Magazine, Vice, Sharpologist, MIC, Elite Daily, and more. When Adam isn't working, he enjoys spending time with his two little kids who keep him both on his toes and young at heart.

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