21 Ways To Rekindle Your Marriage Right NowBy: Shawn | Last Updated: May 9, 2017
Marriage feeling a little dull?
Getting the 7 year itch?
Before you go out and make some stupid decisions, here are 21 sure-fire tips that you can do tonight in order to try and get your marriage back on track and give it that same fire it had when you first got hitched:
1. Have Dinner Together Every Night
Perhaps you don’t have the time or the money to go out on a lot of date nights. The beauty behind this excuse, is that you don’t necessarily have to.
More often than not, the little actions speak way louder than some grand event. So, instead of hitting the town in a rushed fury to make your dinner reservation, take the time to sit down together in your own home and have a nice conversation over dinner.
Often marriages struggle because each individual gets caught up in their own daily routine and forgets to take time for the other person. Discussing what to cook together and enjoying it in the comfort of your own home is a great way to reconnect.
2. Have Sex at Least 3 Times a Week
This is a big one.
After being with the same person for an extended period of time, it is only natural for the attraction to start to mellow out a bit.
You may not experience those wild crazy nights anymore, but who says that you can’t start doing them again?
Take the time to truly appreciate the person that you are with; not just their outward appearance, but who they are on the inside as well. Reaching a level of true intimacy will not only rekindle your sex life exponentially, but it will also help you to create that deep connection with each other once again.
Besides a few sex games can really spice it up:
3. Go On a Romantic Trip Together
Sometimes all it takes to get the romance flowing again is a little one-on-one time in a new location.
Take a trip to the beach, or maybe even a quiet little cabin in the woods. Experiencing adventures together helps to repair any broken bonds and helps to highlight those traits that you both fell in love with in the beginning.
Routine is terrible at tearing people apart and making happiness in the home a constant visitor; but, allowing for some change and the chance to rekindle that connection is always a smart move.
4. Bring Back PDA
If you have children in your life, then it’s quite possible that public shows of affection have been put to the side for quite some time.
There may be a chance where you are a couple who don’t mind kissing and cuddling in front of your children, and if that’s the case, great job!
But, if you have been holding back in order to spare your kids, it might be time to let go a little. There’s no need to be explicit, but don’t be afraid to flirt, kiss, and compliment your partner in front of the kids. They may respond with a few protests, but in the end it will be good for them to see how a marriage should be between two people who really love each other.
5. Don’t Dwell On Arguments
It is so easy to be sucked into that “he’s right, she’s right game”. Prolonged fighting over nonsense is a typical occurrence in married couple’s homes. Both people have had long days at work and nothing seems to be going right.
Bills need to be paid and neither one feels like they are important anymore. This kind of situation is a hard one to get out of, but there is a solution. Don’t hold onto grudges and don’t try to compete with each other. It doesn’t matter who had the worst day or needs a backrub the most.
What matters is that you are both there for each other, and at the end of the day, you each have someone who is willing to listen and support. Learn to complete each other as opposed to competing with each other, and let go of those arguments that really aren’t worth fighting over.
6. Make the Marriage a Priority
This may seem like common sense, but a lot of people don’t realize just how often they forget this simple rule. Yes, there are lots of important things that need to be done throughout the day; but if your marriage is falling apart, everything else needs to be pushed aside until things are resolved.
A marriage is one of the most important things in life. It is a friendship, a partnership, and when something like that isn’t functioning properly a lot of unnecessary hurt appears. All it takes to repair a crumbling marriage is, most often, just sitting down and being open to hearing the other person’s side.
Talk about what is troubling the two of you, and if it can’t be resolved on your own take the offensive side and go get help. There is no shame in counseling and it may be just what you both need in order to rekindle that deep love for one another.
7. Discuss Your Marriage Goals and Dreams
As mentioned previously, being in a marriage means that you are in a partnership. Partners tend to work together towards a given goal, whether that is a team of detectives or a captain and co-captain on an airplane.
If either one is out of sync, there will be miscommunication and the goal will not be met. So, take the time to sit down with your spouse and discuss your dreams, both individual and combined dreams.
When you do this, not only will you learn more about the person you are married too, but there will be a sense of redirection in what the two of you want to achieve in life.
8. Give Compliments Without Hesitation
When you first fell in love with your significant other, giving compliments probably came as second nature. You noticed all the great and wonderful things about them that attracted you.
After being married for a while, that perceptiveness begins to be blinded by the daily grind and routine of life. You see the same person every day and there doesn’t seem to be a lot more to notice. But that is where the misconception is.
As a person grows and changes, they obtain new, attractive traits all the time. Perhaps some gentleness has come into their face, or they have a stronger way of holding themselves in certain situations.
Take the time to notice these things, and comment on them!
Your significant other will truly appreciate hearing that you still find what is attractive in them.
9. Try Something New in the Bedroom
This suggestion goes hand in hand with having sex multiple times a week. Spicing things up a little bit can just makes things all the more exciting!
So don’t be afraid to share those fantasies you may have been dreaming up, and if either of you like the idea of costumes, head to the store and pick out a couple.
There is nothing wrong with making your love life fun and playful; honestly, it will help to keep things interesting and get rid of routine. Be sure that you are willing to communicate and NEVER be critical towards your partner’s ideas and suggestions.
10. Hold Hands More Often
It is a proven fact that even just the simple touch of a hand can create a reaction in the brain that help to establish trust.
Through holding hands, not only are you opening yourself up to be vulnerable to someone else, but you are also creating a bond with that person.
The next time that you and your significant other get into an argument, hold hands while you work it out. You may find that it’s a lot harder to stay angry when you have that connection to each other.
11. Don’t Be Afraid to Address Your Needs
One of the major reasons for divorce is cheating.
Plain and simple.
This is so sad because more often than not, having an open conversation about what each person needs from the sexual relationship would stop affairs from happening.
Obviously that isn’t always the case, but the majority of such situations could be avoided by having that important conversation.
Don’t be ashamed to ask for something that pleases you in the bedroom. Your significant other loves you and wants to make you happy, so share what you like and take the time to ask what she wants as well.
12. Take a Shower or Bath Together
Light some candles, put on some slow music and join your love in the water.
Take turns giving massages and washing each other in a state of pure bliss. Not only is this a great way to relax after a long day, but it might be exactly what the two of you need to reconnect and get excited about one another again.
13. Do Something Unexpected
Show up at your significant other’s work with flowers in hand, or perhaps a box of donuts if that’s what they really love!
Going outside of the norm and performing a very romantic act is a sure way of rekindling the spark in a marriage.
Perhaps you cook dinner at home, or even take the time to prepare a special little note to leave on the pillow before bed reminding your love just how much you care. It’s these small, unexpected actions that warm hearts and rekindle the flame.
14. Try Hotel Sex
This is a great escape if you have children or you simply need a new environment.
Sometimes doing everything in the same way and in the same place can create for a dull time.
But, head off to a new location and get things heated up, and you’ll notice just how much more exciting things can be! Hotels are a great place to go because you still have all the amenities; shower, bed, etc.
You could also head off into the woods somewhere, just be sure you take a blanket or something to keep you comfortable.
15. Stay on the Same Team
When life starts to get hard and everything goes wrong, it can be easy to forget who your friends are.
The best thing about being married is that you have a forever partner, someone who will be by your side through thick and thin! However, it can be easy to start seeing that person as the bad guy when stuff starts to go south.
The bills haven’t been paid, the car’s broken down, and the kids just never seem to calm down.
None of these things are anyone’s fault, but it can appear that way when frustration starts to kick in; humans look for someone to blame. So just remember, your significant other is on your team! You both are headed towards the same goals.
Take the time to discuss the things in your life and get back on the same page so that you can work together instead of against each other.
16. Have Fun Together
Don’t’ get so caught up in the tasks of life that you forget to have fun!
Pull out those dusty bikes, grab the camping gear, or even just head to the park and enjoy the outdoors together.
No one says that your activities have to be expensive or over the top, just take the time to shrug the weight of the world off of your shoulders and be together.
This quality time will help to strengthen your bond and create lasting memories that will aid you both in pulling through tough times in the future. Fun is one of the best things in life, so don’t lose sight of it and treasure the memories you create.
17. Create a Rekindle Mindset
Nothing is ever going to be accomplished if you don’t set your mind to it.
Talking about fixing the relationship is great, but unless you actually take steps towards that goal talk is all that will be achieved.
Map out a plan in your mind of how you want to rekindle the relationship between you and your partner and then get started!
Don’t be discouraged if there aren’t immediate results. Broken trust and hurt feelings take time to heal, but continue on with determined baby steps and you can eventually rekindle the love you both felt at the beginning.
18. Learn to Listen
While being able to communicate effectively is extremely important, being able to listen is a vital step in repairing a relationship.
If you are so busy talking about you and how you feel, that you don’t take the time to listen to your partner’s concerns, then nothing will be accomplished.
In fact, the problems will probably get worse.
Relationships are all about mutual respect and trust. Allow yourself to trust your partner and listen to what they have to say; respect their opinions. Through this, you are opening up yourself to learn more on the best way to love this individual you are paired with.
19. Express Your Gratitude
There is nothing worse than being taken for granted.
Both people are bound to feel this way a few times throughout the marriage. Both of you probably work long jobs, have chores at home to do, and hobbies that you strive to keep up on.
It is so common to forget about the other person and focus wholly on what you have accomplished and what you still need to do. One of the most supportive things you can do for your partner is to recognize what they do for you and your family.
Do they always work hard to keep the house clean?
Do they work long hours to make sure there is enough money to pay for all the necessities of life? No matter what it is they do, even if it doesn’t seem like it’s for you alone, appreciate it and let them know how much it means to you.
20. List 10 Positives for Every Negative
When you find yourself focusing on just the negative aspects of your partner, challenge yourself to think of 10 positive things about them that counteract that one negative thought.
Through doing this, you will be reminded of why you love them and will most likely forget why you were upset in the first place.
21. Be Attractive
Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that now you are married there’s no reason to try anymore.
There is always a reason to try!
Through going to the gym, or making sure that you groom properly and dress nicely, you are not only making yourself feel good but you are working to impress the one person that you love more than anyone.
If you never stop courting each other, and always work just as hard as you did when you were dating, the love between you will continue to grow and true happiness will follow wherever you go.